Very pissed with KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital’s Department of Child Development (KKH DCD)

DL!!! Very DL with KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital’s Department of Child Development (KKH DCD) today. 2 incidents happened today that made me very pissed with how "professional" KKH is.

Incident 1
As Mini Ong has ADHD symptom, he has to go though 6 weeks of Occupational Therapy (OT) followed by a Speech Review in between. Mini Ong started talking late and had problem communicating with others that's why in 2011, we sent him for Speech review, and psychology reviewed which ultimately led to OT. Based on the test conducted to Mini Ong, his English level is consider slightly below average in term of grammar and vocabulary. Hence the Psychologist actually advised us to send him for OT first and train him at home. In between OT we will have to go back for Speech review. The Speech Therapist will then review Mini Ong and decide what is the best thing for him. 

It was all discussed and agreed. As I am not a housewife (temporary not working only), I had to have the schedule planned ahead so that I could prepare my parents who are also the caregivers while I was working, to stand by for Mini Ong's OT once I started working. This was made known to KKH DCD too. Then KKH DCD called me last week regarding the schedule. The nurse told me that the OT Therapist is going on leave on the day that was scheduled for OT hence need to change. (NOTE: to change is not just a date. I have to change 6 dates and times! It's a ripple effect loh). "Fine I said. OT Therapist need a break too." So we changed. After the changes, I had to inform Mini Ong's school and my parents.

Then came this Monday, KKH DCD called again. The nurse told me the OT Therapist is going to conduct hand writing lesson and the date clash with my OT date. Bo bian, we got to change. I had to make sure the dates do not clash with my son's extra lesson in school and not affecting my parents' schedule. It took a while before we finalized the dates. Again I had to inform the school and my parents immediately. 

If you think "The End. Happily ever after", WRONG! KKH DCD called again this morning 9AM requesting to change date!!!!! AGAIN!!!! This time round the reason was Mini Ong has to go for 2 consecutive OTs before his speech could be reviewed. WTF?!!!!! Why weren't this being told to me before we START scheduling the OT in December 2011??? Also Mini Ong has been going for OT since Jan and this afternoon would be his 4th OT. 4th times le ok!! On top of that, before his next speech review in May, Mini Ong has another OT at end April! Which make it 5! Isn't that enough for the speech review?? I was and still am bua song. I justified to the nurse. She was stunned. She was like "but but need consecutive 2 OTs before the speech review...." Consecutive 2 OTs your head! I was furious. I really told her off. I said if this is the so-called policy, why it wasn't made known to me BEFORE we start scheduling the OT back in December 2011 when we went for the psychology review?? What made me almost scream at her was, she suggested add another speech review in May together with the date of OT. Hello hello!!! Free is it? If free ok I take. NOT FREE ok! Another session mean additional pay. Also Mini Ong haven't even gone for his first speech review. What made the nurse so sure and double confirm that Mini Ong needs ANOTHER speech review?? That's it! I really told her off. I said Mini Ong haven't even gone for his first speech review. What is the rationale for a 2nd review? Guess what was the reply? She said, "oh there is a need of 2 OTs before the speech review and I see that May he will be coming for OT weekly so would like to squeeze the speech review on one of the date together with the OT."

"Ju ba!!!!" (Volcano erruption!!!) I couldn't believe what I just heard. This was the most stupid reason I ever received. What next was %$##@!!!...........

Bo bian, she said she will check with the Therapist. What a morning! Really spoilt my mood. Again if you think that's it. It isn't over! Here comes the interesting part.

Incident 2
Last week, as proposed by KKH DCD, I went for Signposts introduction at KKH. According to the nurse, Signposts is a program that trains the caregiver to manage the behavior of special needs kid. Since Mini Ong is hyper active, I thought it would be good to find out more about the program. To my dismay, it wasn't relevant to me at all! Yes Signposts helps parents and carers to design a personalized program that suits the unique needs of the child and develop strategies to prevent and manage difficult behaviour. However it is more for children with developmental delay, intellectual disability, and Autism! It is not cheap too. Parents who signed up for the program needs to pay SGD 350 and commit 5 consecutive weeks per day for the 1.5 - 2hrs training follow by homework. If you divide, the course is SGD 70 per session. Those working parents would have to take leave because the course only runs on weekdays before 6pm.

 Hello!! My son is a super smart hyper active kid. How do Signposts tackle that?? I raised my question to the trainer. She just said the program is suitable to ALL kids be it special needs or normal. My question is HOW beneficial is the program? You want me to sign up for the program, you have to tell me HOW good. How does it helps the children. Not just say "it's good for everyone."

I was super turn off. Waste my time travel to KKH for just less than 1 hr introduction. I realized the parents who attended the introduction are housewives whose children are either Autism or low intelligent. None of them have children similar to mine. Of course I didn't sign up the course.

Then came this morning. Nurse from KKH DCD called questioning me why I didn't turn up for the Signposts briefing. I was duh....I went and signed on the attendant sheet! Just that I didn't sign up for the course. I gave her my feedback too. 

~The End~

....NO loh! Nurse from KKH DCD called me in the afternoon, used her most fierce tone, questioned me WHY I didn't turn up for the Signposts introduction. I was like duh..WTF. I told her I DID go for the introduction and QUESTIONED her how many times must KKH called me regarding the SAME matter?? She then said she will check and hung up. I thought finally end but NO again. They called Mr Ong questioned him WHY we didn't turn up. (Note: Mr Ong was aware of my episode) AHHHHH!!!!!!!! This is so crazy! Mr Ong told them scornfully, "My wife went and we didn't sign up for the course cos it sux!"

Come on la! Don't ask stupid question if you want intelligent answer. Kena scolded by us on Friday (They work on Mon - Fri) fun is it?

Really! Sigh..I'm going to send Mini Ong for OT now. Pray that none of these happened. I don't what I will do if it happened again.


Roar!
LC

GOD is always blessing in HIS time

I had great lunch with my 2 besties yesterday, Mrs Goh and Ms Chew. Through their sharing of what they have been going through, I could feel God's love strongly. HE loves everyone so much that all we have to do is to trust HIM and receive HIS blessing in HIS time.


Mrs Goh is a free lance special needs officer (SMO). I witnessed how she struggled at the initial stage of her career till now her skill is being recognized by people whom she has helped and worked with. Her passion towards helping kids with special needs and faith towards God has rewarded her. Even though during the process it was both physical and mentally drained, she pressed on. 现在终于苦尽甘来。I am so happy for her. The rest of her journey is definitely not going to be easy but with God, nothing is impossible. Faith and Trust are required.


As for Ms Chew, there is finally light in her career. Struggled for 4 years in her current company, she is finally able to take up a bigger portfolio. Most importantly, her boss is very supportive of her and trust her, and even groom her to assume a bigger capacity role. All she needs to do now is to build up her confidence level and trust that God will provide. Alway remember that God will not place us in a situation that we cannot handle. Even though the situation may seem tough, but if God place us there mean we can do it. Believe and Faith are required from Ms Chew.


Relating their stories boost my faith level. I have been jobless since Jan and been through some interviews. Though the agents promise to "sell" me to their clients as Staffing Manager, so far no news. I always wonder was it my job stint that stopped them from considering me. I did not stay long in each company I went wasn't really my choice. 很无奈可是有谁能体谅？I always believe if a company knows how to see talent (not that I say myself talented la. I just experienced haaa) 慧眼识英雄, they will look into the candidate experience not job stint. After all Recruitment is a skill. To identify a candidate's personality at least 60% accurate within 60sec the moment the candidate walked into the interview room is a skill! It is years of accumulated experience to reach this level. Where to find such a cheap Recruiter with ASEAN exposure right? *BIG SIGH* However I want to believe that if God wants to put me in that company, nothing will stop me from joining. I need to keep on believing and have faith in HIM. I strongly believe God will place me in a career HE knows is the best for me.


Already seen and experience how God work miraculously in my friends', Mr Ong and my life, the more I should not let Mr Tan deceive me in convincing me that God is not with me. HE IS with me and ALWAYS with me!


Waiting to receive my blessing in career :)


Ai Zai
LC

Flawless skin?

Many people asked how do I get flawless skin? What type of skin care products do I use. However when I told them? They do not believe me! (well take it or leave it!)

Well first of all I would like to thank my mum. My mum and aunties have perfect skins. They do not have outbreak easily. I hardly have pimples too. I guess I inherited from them. However, my skin is not flawless. I do have panda eyes and dryness on my lower eyelid and yet I do not have the budget to spend on expensive skin care products. What to do?? Well, I made use of the nature! Yes. The magic is from nature; "Oatmeal!"

"Huh?? Oatmeal? You kidding me!" No I am not! I use oatmeal to wash my face once a day daily! Just like prayer is my daily essence of food, washing face with oatmeal is my daily devotion lolx! 


To me, oatmeal is GOD's greatest creation in earth. Why? Because It does not only full your hungry stomach providing nutrition value to your health, it is a salvation to our skin. 
Benefits of oatmeal: Oatmeal contains the antioxidants avenathramides, which are effective in reducing redness and protecting the skin against UV sun damage. Oatmeal has also long been used to treat dry skin and itching associated with conditions such as eczema and rashes. Adding a bit of oatmeal to your daily facial regimen may be of benefit to you even if you simply want to naturally exfoliate your face. Oatmeal is a great oil absorber too. If your are suffering from frequent breakouts and excess oil, the more you got to try washing with oatmeal at least twice a week.

All you need is lukewarm water and cooking oatmeal (any brand!). Methods: Fill your palm with oatmeal (not too much. Slightly more than $0.50 coin). Next close your fist and run it with lukewarm water to soften the oatmeal. After that apply all over your face and gently massage your face with oatmeal. 

My face feels smoother and softer just after one wash. Pores become smaller too :) The result is instant and Incredible! Amazing isn't it? You will see your face become more radiant and healthier after a few wash. Best of all, it is CHEAP! (It cost less than SGD5 per pack). I've been using it for many months and the result is simply awesome! Before getting to know oatmeal cleansing, my skin's condition is considered good. However due to stress and pollution, I started to have breakout and my face was oily. I chanced upon BubzBeauty's channel (see below link) and tried using her method. It works! Now my face is smoother, healthier, softer, and radiant than before. <3 <3 <3 Because it is good, I never stop using since day 1 haaa Love it!!! Muack! 

http://www.bubzbeauty.com/bubbi-likes/126-oatmeal-cleanser.html

Everything is so good no disadvantages meh? Of course have la! Where to find 100% good things on earth haaaa To me, the disadvantages are discipline, and MESSY! ????? Well, good skin requires good discipline; Good discipline and determination to wash face with oatmeal daily. It is messy too. I have to clear my sink every after wash. I do not want to get my sink stuck with the mess lolx! It's "lay chay" (troublesome) though but for the sake of good skin, it is definitely worth the trouble :)

Have fun washing!

Good Luck

LC

GOD is with you ALL the time! Hallelujah!!

I was just venting my frustration on Monday via blog regarding how unfair Mr Ong treated me and was crying to GOD for comfort when something good happened! It was a way of GOD telling me HE is with me always!


What happened was on Monday, I was at home with Mini Ong as Mini Ong was on MC. It was a rainy day as well. Thinking Mini Ong developed rashes due to heat, it would be good if he eats home cooked food. I was going through the kitchen cabinet (Note: I don't store food so it was practically nothing) when there was a sudden thought "cook pasta" I heard. I looked into the cabinet again and found half packet of pasta and half bottle of pasta sauce. There were some hotdogs and tuna that were just nice enough for both Mini Ong and Mr Ong. I didn't have the intention to cook for Mr Ong at first. I was thinking of cooking instant noodles for Mini Ong since it was raining and I didn't feel like eating. However somehow, there was a voice telling me to cook for Mr Ong especially Mr Ong loves pasta.


"Ok" I told myself. Since the ingredients were just nice for the 2 Ongs I might as well use it all!. Cook Cook Cook Cook for the next hour. When it was done, I texted Mr Ong to inform him that I had cooked for him. To my surprise! He replied saying that he had bought me a gift!  (Side track a bit. Mr Ong's love language is gift hence he loves receiving gift and tend to buy things for me too ESPECIALLY if he knew he had made a mistake lolx!)


I wonder what the gift was. Well when he came back, he showed me internet booster. An Internet booster is a software program that is designed to enhance the speed of any connection to the Internet. I had been complaining that I could not use internet in the room when Mr Ong is gaming. When he game, it took up too much bandwidth that there was no connection in the room. Whenever he game, I had to use the internet in the living room instead of my room. Inconvenient though. Internet booster is not cheap. It cost SGD 150. It is definitely more costly than my Naked 2 palette that cost SGD 80. 


I was very touched. This is how Mr Ong shows love. He is kind of practical too. He is a man of ego hence he never apologize but he would use his action to show his apology. Like getting me a internet booster. This is more practical than make up palette. Of course if I were to think negative, I could have thought internet booster benefits him more than me as he could not connect to network at all in the room at the side of his bed. At least I still have connection so long he doesn't game. However, I choose to believe that he got it for my benefit more instead of his. I am very thankful.


Through this incident, GOD once again showed me HE is with me ALL the time. HE knows what I am going through in my life. Everything about me HE knows. HE was reminding me to trust HIM. Trust HIM that my life will improve. Just do my best for the family and HE will take care of everything!


<3
LC

心事能向谁说？Miscommunication again

有没有想过如果你有心事你能向谁说？每次我有心事我都跟老公说。可是每次老公都没有耐心的听我说完就插嘴。很多时候都自以为是的意见一大堆。A total turn off! 还好随着时间过去，老公慢慢的学会聆听。可是如果你的心事是有关老公的，你还会跟他说吗？我想跟他说可是不知道要怎样开口。Actually I did tell him before; both verbal and writen. However thing remain unchanged. Example I wanted him to hold my hand and hug me more, he never does.

I always feel that we have communication problem. I thought I told him directly and straight forward about how I felt yet he could still think otherwise. Example Urban Decay Naked 2 incident. I always wanted to have one since I chance upon on youtube last November. However it was not in stock in Singapore. I waited and waited and finally my friend bought it last Friday! I was so happy that I told Mr Ong about it. I told him I wanted to go on Saturday. He said let's go then and he would buy for me. Oh man  I was super happy. I thought it was meant to be my birthday present. After all he didn't give me present just dinner.

However he didn't buy for me. I paid for myself. Of course I was unhappy. I asked him,"I thought you are paying?" He replied,"you cannot always expect me to pay for all your expenses. Do you know how tight I am? When I was jobless you didn't pay for all my expenses as well." I was furious.

First, he was the one who said he would buy for me when I didn't request. (hello I want 'face' too ok. You think I feel good asking people for money?)

Secondly, as a head of the family, he should provide for his wife and kid. Yes he was jobless for a period of time hence couldn't provide. However I contributed whatever I could with my little pay! Mind you he earns more than double of my pay now. I couldn't pay for everything but at least I paid for the necessities. On top of that I do all the housework! Isn't that enough?

I was very DL and didn't want to talk about it anymore till today when we had argument over texts. In short, he felt that I wanted his money! WTF! Since when I want his money? Whenever I asked him for money, it is for family like PUB bill etc. Never for myself. If he gives me for my own use, I accepted happily treating it as a bonus. He quoted the Naked 2 as example of how I wanted money from him. Gosh it was so hurting! I bombed him with a long list of my unhappiness.

The best part was he couldn't even remember his promise! The point is, even if he could not remember saying he would buy for me, he should have asked me directly why I was angry. How could he assume I just want money from him?? This is an insult! Married for 6 years, can't he tell whether I am sincere or not towards him and family? Who would want to continue a marriage whose husband doesn't love her, doesn't want to make love with her and doesn't give her money? Ask the women around. Who want to?? Why did I hold on? Isn't the answer obvious?

I know money has always been a sensitive topic to him hence I always working determine not to ask him for money for own use. His money would be for himself and family that's all. Not for Klara. Even now I'm not working, I never ask him for money for my own use. I was thinking if I used up my saving without getting a job, perhaps I would borrow from friend. Can you see he is not even on my mind when comes to money! If he gives me money or buy me things, I would take it as bonus. Not take it for granted. Even that time he said he will give me a sub card, I just smile and said thank you without pressing him to get for me. Even when he told me the bank will not approve his application of sub card I just told him it's ok. 有心就好。When he said he will open a family account and transfer some money into it so that I can use it freely, again I just smile and thank him. (of course say only no action) but did I ever pressure him to do so? No. I never even mention to him. 

我的原则是 “你给我， 我就拿。 你不给我也不会生气你。 钱是你的。 我无权管。” “你如果有心，我也心领了。” 

That is my attitude towards him when money is concern.  

God I pray that YOU will heal my broken heart. 

Sad
LC

How to train Mini Ong to sleep alone and how to ensure he doesn't wet the bed at night

Toilet training - staying dry at night

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Toilet_training_staying_dry_at_night

How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep in Their Own Bed

http://www.savvydaddy.com/content/site/survival-guide/00189/how-get-your-toddler-sleep-their-own-bed

These are the 2 headaches I have now. Mini Ong is toilet trained during the day. He can stay dry throughout though sometime he does wet the bed during the nap time. At the age of 5 now, most of my friends told me that Mini Ong should be able to stay dry at night. However, he still can't. In fact with the diaper on, he would occasionally wet the bed as well. I thought of waking him up in the middle of the night to pee but he is the type who is hard to go back to bed. If I woke him up, he may hard to go back to sleep again. The article states that if your child wakes up every morning with a wet nappy, they’re not ready. If you take them out of night-time nappies, they will wet the bed. Mini Ong has wet nappy every morning! It was so full that sometime if I happen to wake up to go toilet, I would change a new nappy for him. If not the nappy would be so full that it will leak out and wet the bed.


Guess in the mean time i'll just Mini Ong in night time nappy till most nappies are dry in the morning or until they are wet till Mini Ong wakes up.


Mini Ong refuses to sleep in the mattress beside us let along in his own room. He always want to sleep in between. Not beside Mr Ong or me. Have to be between us. Even get him to sleep on the mattress us is a challenge. Sometime he would sleep there. Most of the time no unless I sleep with him on the mattress. Because of him sleeping between us, the 3 of us have bad sleep daily. What make the matter worst is Mini Ong sleep late. Even after the 2 of us fell asleep, he will be singing by himself or jump in and out of bed. As a light sleeper, I suffer the most. I suspect he has separation anxiety. He always wants daddy and mummy to be around him. Insecure. I have no solution to this problem now except to train him to sleep on the mattress first. Once he get use to sleeping on the mattress beside us then we train him to sleep in his room.


Till then GOD bless us!!


LC

Focus on HIM (GOD) not him

Lately I'm pretty depressed. I had nightmare 2 days ago. I dreamt that I was pregnant a girl and happily told Mr Ong (he has always wanted a girl). However in the dream Mr Ong told me he wanted to divorce me for he had found his dream girl. I woke up feeling sad.

I texted my sis in Christ, Mrs Ho, about my dream. She pointed out that I had not release my fear to GOD. I did not admit to GOD about my fear that's why it surfaced up. Come to think of it, she is right. For the past 6 years I always put on a strong front. I tried my best to keep slim and pretty, and make sure I have good income, so that if one day Mr Ong doesn't want, any man would still drool for me. I always tell people it is ok that Mr Ong divorce me since he doesn't love him and I don't. So long I still got "market value", I will still find a good man. It was so convincing that I actually believe what I said!

Then came the nightmare. Actual fact, I was scared. I was scared that Mr Ong doesn't want me. I was so afraid and insecure. I never dare to admit my fear. I was so 死爱面子. I hate to show fear to others especially to Mr Ong. My dear sis was right. I have to admit to GOD my fear and let HIM deal with it. Only when I admit my fear to GOD then HE is able to heal me.

Another "bomb" came yesterday. Mr Ong said he is very restless and unhappy. He hates the fact that everyday is so mundane; work, home, wife, son. He wants to be life before (before married) where he could go out with friend till next day evening. Like spend time with friend 24/7. To be honest, I was affected by his word again.

Mrs Ho highlighted to me that it is nothing to do with me and Mini Ong. Mr Ong doesn't know who he is and his life purpose. It is nothing to do with me and I need to be clear with that. I have to find my security in GOD and not Mr Ong because Mr Ong will always sway and change. The only thing I can do is pray that GOD will lead and guide Mr Ong. Only GOD can change him. If we don't pray, Mr Tan aks Satan, will win. Mr Tan will make us insecure and don't take up our spiritual authority and claim back what belongs to us. Another best friend of mine Mrs Goh sent me a verse. Matthew 25:29: For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance, but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.

Jesus is talking about a firm belief in GOD's word that gives one the courage to say, "I have it!" If you say that you have it, you have it, and more will be given to you. What Mrs Goh was trying to tell me is I have a happy marriage and I should say "I have it!". It is already given to GOD. What given by GOD nobody can take it away without GOD's permission. GOD is great isn't HE?

I am learning to focus on GOD now and ignore the rest that are hurting to me. GOD is taking over my life, my fear, everything about me from now on. Amen!

Hopeful
LC

The Silent Years

I was watching Joyce Meyer's daily sermon when she talked about the Silent Year. Joyce shared that there are times when we seek God but felt and heard nothing from God. Does that mean that God is not doing anything in our lives? NO. God is doing something IN us. When external situation may not seem to have any improvement it dose not mean God forsake us. HE is doing something IN us internally. It could be our heart and attitude. Joyce said there was a year where she heard nothing from God. She wanted to know what God's plan for her to work on but heard nothing. So she tried to do things that God didn't ask her to do such as sewing and planting tomatoes. Her neighbour had taught her to do it. In the end the pants that she made for her husband didn't sew out well and her tomatoes were eaten by bug but her neigbour's tomatoes were not affected by bug. She was angry with God and blamed God for not protecting her tomatoes. Guess what God said? God said HE got no obligation to protect her tomatoes because HE didn't ask her to plant it!

Through this incident, she learnt to wait for God's timing and trust that HE is working on her live. Looking at my situation, it seem like I am into the "Slient Year". I have been jobless since 5th Jan and despite going for a few interviews, no good news for me. I have been praying and asking God why HE haven't placed me in the good career yet. Not forgetting my hubby is still on contract and we don't know whether he will be converted to perm. What if he is not being converted and I am still jobless? We will sink into financial shit again! Thinking of that scares me...

Somehow, I am feeling peace. I felt even more peace after listening to the sermon. I believe God is working in me internally. There are so many areas in me needs to be worked on. I believe God wants me to learn to take care of family. Learn to be a good wife and mother. I believe God wants me to learn to trust HIM. Trust HIS timing and planning. Cast aside the worries I have and do my best daily.

Looking back, I realised my house has never been so clean and neaty while I was working. It is the effort of me cleaning the house daily. Mini Ong's OT starts tomorrow. It is an intense 6 weeks OT. I believe God wants me to manage this well, ensure my dad is comfortable to bring Mini Ong to OT after I start working. Everything is working according to God's plan. Even though the money in my account is getting lesser and lesser, I believe God will provide. I have to adjust my attitude to trust in God and do according to what HE told me to do. God is great isn't HE? Amen!


http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=The_Silent_Years

安啦
LC

~Wedding Proposal 求婚~

I had a most wonderful dream yesterday. I dream that a guy (I don't remember his face) kneel down and proposed to me in the public! And when I said "Yes!", he put on my favourite diamond ring on my finger!

I was so touched and happy that tears of joy soon filled my eyes. Next min I knew I was hugging him. Like most women, I used to wonder how my future husband would propose to me. I dreamed about it being near the ocean (I love the beach) and I wondered what he would say and how he would ask. Well my husband never proposed to me. Our marriage is kind of being forced to. Till now I don't think he loves me yet too. Perhaps because of this, deep inside my heart I long for a marriage proposal. I long for the moment the diamond ring was put on my finger and the happiness my partner shown when I said "yes".

I long for this blissful feeling so badly that when I woke up from the dream, first time in my life I actually hate to be alive! I wish I can be in the dream forever.

Deep inside my heart, I do wish and pray that one day, he will propose to me. 好希望那天快点到来。

<3
LC

Done and over

This is me before going for interview. I was very excited today about the interview that I could hardly sleep yesterday. I made an effort to do research regarding the company and really dressed well and put in the best that I could for today interview.

Well, I wouldn't say the interview went bad but I wouldn't say it went well as well. I don't know how to put it just feel 50 - 50 ba..

I had done my best and the interview is already over. No point keep thinking. Leave it to God now. Over to you GOD!

zen~

LC



New Job = New Baby??

Received a call from GMP that I am shortlisted for interview with a good gaming company. An MNC as Staffing Manager! Wow I couldn't believe it! Gaming companies is a great industry to go into. It is a casual and fun company to work in. Just like Google. I am so happy that despite not feeling well and suppose to rest, my mind is so excited that I decided to blog it *wink*

What am I suppose to say during the interview? Will the interivewer likes me? What to wear for interview? Oh gosh am so excited! Though interview doesn't mean confirm get the job, but it is a HOPE! God is great isn't HE? :)

Well I pray that if this is a open opportunity from God to me, let me be selected on the spot kekeke AMEN!

So what is new job going to do with baby? Oh well lately Mr Ong has been proposing having a 2nd kid. He feels that when both of us secure a perm job, it would be time to have another kid to keep Mini Ong company. However, I am still not ready to have another kid. I have financial fear, relationship fear, and Mini Ong fear.

We are still in debts. To secure a perm job to me means paying off all the debts. I want to have a financial breakthrough in 2012. Having another kid is only to add more financial burden to us.

My next concern is relationship. Mr Ong and I are still not in love. This marriage is based on responsibilities and committment. It is scary to think of having 2 kids and divorce. It may not happen of course but again we never know.

Mini Ong is a AHDH kid. He needs more attention than other normal kid. My attention to him already max out. I really don't know how to divide my love and attention to another kid. For the next 1 - 2 years, Mini Ong has to go for ADHD intervention frequently. It is going to be taxing for us. Despite Mr Ong said he will get a maid if we have 2nd kid, but it only solves my housework problem not Mini Ong's attention problem.

Hence I suggested to wait for another 2 years. Wait till Mini Ong is in Primary 1. By then hopefully he doesn't have to go for intervention anymore and his ADHD is able to control well. By then we would have paid off all the debts as well. It would be more stable to have new comer in the family. Also by then if everything goes well, we would be on our 8 years of marriage. Should be safe le ba.......

Well everything will goes according to God's will. We shall see how. Be patience and walk according to God's will.

Excited
LC

OMG we are married!!

(St. Elmo's Fire LOVE Theme Instrumental - Original Soundtrack HQ Sound)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pPgv63CyvM&feature=related

This is my wedding song when we marched down the aisle. It is Mr Ong's favourite hence we chose this song.

*Looking at the photo* Pretty of not? *Thick skin* LOLX! By the way this is the edited wedding photo of me. Mr Ong was too shy to show his face so I used a funny spec to cover it. Well too bad I can't shrink the spec (Mr Ong actually praised me for being creative muhahaha). A little bit weird ya kekeke

Time flies and we have been married for 5 years. Looking back these period wasn't and still isn't easy. Don't ever have the thinking that we will still be the same before and after married. Trust me, it is NEVER be the same.

Before married, there are no committments and responsibilities.

After married things start to change...a shocking discovery for me is different living styles and habits. All the bad habits started to unveil. It really took us a long time to adjust and get use to it. I must say not everything about Mr Ong I can accept and vice versa. We just try too see each other's goodness than bad.

This is what I discovered when I stayed with them (in-law) for 4 years before moved to my own house....

Mr Ong love to leave his stuff all over the places in the house. Example he would leave newspaper on the floor after reading, leave his used cup on the floor instead of bringing it to kitchen and wash it, leave his dirty clothes on the floor instead of laundry basket...etc etc etc wherever he went sure left untidy marks on it. The place would look like swept by tornado...ok ok not that bad la BUT BUT definitely very messy.

Who would clear it for him? Me? Of course NOT. His Mother! Whenever he did that his mother would be the one picking up and putting it back to where the stuff belong to. It is a habit built in him since he was a kid. Nobody told him to put back the thing from whichever place he took. In the end who is tired? His mother of course! See how important habit is. If it is not properly cultivated, it will carry forward. The person may not see it as something wrong but to others, new member in the family, is very inconvenience especially the new member is a hygiene freak. That's right! That hygiene freak is ME!

Well, am not really hygiene freak la..just more tidy and organise than Mr Ong..at least I do not leave things anywhere on the floor :p

If I could turn back the clock, I wouldn't want to be tied down before 35. Enjoy life to the fullest before settle down ha!

自由万岁！
LC

如果有下一世。。。该放终究还是要放手

“你说下辈子如果我还记得你
我们死也要在一起
像是陷入催眠的距离
我已开始昏迷不醒
好吧下辈子如果我还记得你
你的誓言可别忘记”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsqXajZEar8



如果有下辈子，你会选择谁？“下辈子”这三个字像是给人一些希望。希望下辈子能续今生不能延续的缘分。可是又有谁知道会不会有下辈子？即使有，又有谁可以肯定一定会在一起? 那些相信有来世的人往往会抱这希望的求神拜佛，希望来世能续前缘。至少还是一个希望。“希望“往往给人活下来的勇气。倘若没有来世，是不是就没有希望了？ 今生今世有缘无份，连来世都没有的人该这么办？基督教徒是没有来世的。那就是说今生缘分已尽。没来世也只能选择放手。不想放也得放。不放又能怎样。不是你的勉强不来。

十年了。我没有一天不想他。即使我很努力的去过自己的生活，我还是想他。好没骨气啊！他心里早已没有我，我干吗怎么死心眼。好讨厌自己。十年前所留下的信物我还留着。想念的时候就会拿出来看。好想告诉他，“如果这一生我们爱不够，来生你千万认得我。如果这一生我给得不够，来生给你所有的我。”

我知道这样对老公很不公平。虽然老公不爱我，但他还是尽做丈夫的责任。没有因为我怀孕而抛弃我。老公也很疼我。我虽然也做了自己该做的本分，但因为心还存着“他”，很多时候往往不能全心全意。虽然老公知道我心里还想着他，可是老公并没怪我。他说他能理解。老公还说因为他不爱我，所以没有资格干涉我心里爱谁。有时想想，我们的婚姻还真奇妙啊！说不爱却能维持六年。哈哈！

尽管如此，该是时候放下了。怎么放我不知道。就顺其自然好了。既然要放，那如果有来世，我会叫孟婆给我多几碗孟婆汤喝。我要把所有的一切都忘掉。全部都忘掉。今世够累了。。。心够痛了。。。眼睛也哭到累了。我希望死了之后能够得到永恒的自由。信祖是对的。祖耶稣让我摆脱轮回的痛苦。感谢神对我的爱。

“就把你深深藏在我心中 一辈子再也不对别人说
说我曾经爱过你 我曾经对你笑过哭过
就把你深深藏在我心中 一辈子再也不对别人说
就算他日再相遇 也笑着与你擦肩而过 ”

既然我们都把彼此深深藏在心中，那就够了。我们永远都是红颜知己。希望你开开心心的活着。

祝福你
小巧克力

Walking by faith

Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
Psalm 23:4:Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

It has been a long time since I experience peace. For the past 2 weeks ever since hubby got a well paid job, breakthrough seems to be coming. The thought of being able to pay back all the debts and be sufficient enough to provide for the family really brought hope to the family once again. Ever since our marriage in 2006, we have been in debts. Day by day, year by year, we have been trying to pay off all the debts. However blessing didn't seem to favour us. Not once both of us were working. Either one of us was working but on contract assignment. And when the contract ended, jobless set in for many months. What follow next was fear, insecurity and quarrels.

Everyday I am praying for breakthrough. Breakthrough for our marriage and finance. I really pray and hope that hub would fall in love with me and that both of us bless with perm job with good pay and career prospect. I am praying and hopping that we could clear all the debts by 2012 and live a debt free life. However I'm jobless since 5th Jan. Despite actively looking for job, no news for me. God is indeed great when hubby got a well paid job 2 weeks ago. Though it was a 3 months contract job, it is convertable to perm. Everyday I am praying that hubby would be converted to perm.

The outdate hubby brought home daily regarding his work wasn't positive. I could see that he was puzzled by many things that was assigned to him yet he doesn't have the power in his work. He was puzzled by the reports that he was tasked to do when he should be doing recruitment and set up the recruitment system. He was even puzzled and angry by the way his boss manages him and belittled him. As his wife, what I can do for him is pray and encourage him to pray and trust God. I strongly believe hubby was placed there by God's will. I know God has HIS reason for placing hubby there and I know God knows what hubby is going through.

Despite what hubby is going through did not look promising, I believe God will show hubby the purpose and will definitely guide and protect him. I love these verses Roman 8:31: If God is with us, who can be against us?" Psalm 23:4: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."

I pray that God will bless hubby's with wisdom and knowledge to handle all the difficult situation and may peace be upon hubby. When the peace set in, may hubby feel God's presence and love. May hubby and I settle in a perm job and enjoy financial breakthrough this year. In Jesus's name we pray, AMEN!

Faith
LC