Love Language *Experience talk*

Have you heard of Dr. Gary Chapman's best seller book; "The 5 love languages"? In case you have not, here are the brief introduction; With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman has heard it all. He has helped couples at every stage of marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships - from those just discovering the joys and trial of marriage to those who are ready to call it quits.

After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a pattern: everyone he had counseled had a "love language," a primary way of expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason, people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than their own.

Of the countless ways we can show love to one another, five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive - everyone has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Check this website for the meaning of the 5 love languages (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/)

You may be wondering why I mention it. As I moved on to my story, you will understand what was the reason.

For the whole month of August, I had been very emotionally unstable till I developed panic attack. Apart from jobless issue (I'm going to start work 3rd Sept yeah! \(^_^)/), I felt that Mr Ong wasn't concerned about me. He was busy gaming, clubbing and smsing. I found it so hard to communicate with him. There wasn't any opportunity for quality time without him doing his stuff. This had been the issue for past 6 years and I felt that it was getting worst! Determine to do something to our marriage, I decided to drop him an email. It was on 1st week of August (Sometime, face to face talk could lead to heated argument or emotional cry. Emailing is better at least it gives you time to think before you write it down). Apparently Mr Ong read it because we had a talk on the issues. He promised that he will try to improve the situation and be more sensitive to my needs. However as time goes by, I see no improvement. Eventually it led to emotion snapped and panic attack. I behaved like a crazy woman! It was so bad that first time in my life, I actually not afraid of committing suicide! Realizing that this is unhealthy and scary, I had to put an end to it.

I began to pray desperately to GOD to save me. It was then I heard a voice said,"love language". Thinking that I must be too tired, I ignored it. However as I pray, the word kept coming to my mind. Suddenly I recalled that I had bought a book, 'The 5 love languages', many years back. I searched for the book and re-read again. As I read the book, everything started to make sense. The reason why my emotion broke down was because my 'love tank' was empty. Mr Ong had failed to speak my love language to refill my love tank. As my 'love tank' was empty for long period, it eventually lead to break down of emotion. The letter I wrote to Mr Ong was an indication of my inner cry for his love. It actually indirectly stated my love language! To be fair to Mr Ong, I didn't speak his love language as well. As his 'love tank' was equally empty, he withdrew. He didn't know about the concept of love language. To him, he felt that all couples are the same after few years of marriage. What we are experiencing, no chemical in the marriage, are normal to him. However to me, because I always place GOD as number 1 in my life, my understanding of GOD's marriage are different from him. For example, Quality Time, he thinks that by physical presence with me is consider quality time. However, the real concept of quality time is focusing on your spouse and not doing other stuff, while spending time with her/him.

At this moment, there is nothing I can do except pray. Let GOD intervene this marriage. After all, I had done my best in communicating with him. Even though Mr Ong said he will try to learn to speak to my love language, I couldn't help but feel that he still does not understand my cry. I really want to break the curse and only GOD can do it. 

Hopeful
LC