~Angry~

Seriously I am looking like an angry bird for a week. I am feeling very negative, tired, drained and angry. I felt very frustrated that I wish to be left alone. I wish to be in coma for at least a month! I don't know why I had this idea of being in coma...perhaps I just really want to rest..mind, body and soul.

I felt all the responsibilities and burden on me. I'm the main financial provider for the family, and at the same time work like a maid to ensure the house is clean and tidy and family member have clean clothes to wear daily. I really wish I can choose one out of two duties. Either a financial provider but do not need to do all those cleaning or maid but do not need to contribute a single cent.

People always said GOD made women to be multi tasking. Really?! Which part of bible says that?? Not all the women can multi tasking...At least not for me. How much can a woman bear? Bible says woman is created to support man and man's responsibility is to provide for the family. Since when woman become a supporter and a provider? Since when???

I don't want to be a bitch scolding my hubby every time I reached home but somehow I could not control it. Having a hard and tired day at work, I wish to go back to my home sweet home to seek comfort. However the moment I stepped in the house, what greeted me was not warm and loving, and clean environment but a messy and unloving environment. It was as if the house was waiting for me to clean it. It was like a war zone or rubbish house!

Newspapers everywhere on the floor as if we are painting the house, TV controllers on the floor, used cups lying around the floor, letters, bag, empty cheese wrapper, empty cake container...all around the floor instead of places that these stuff should be placed!...There is a dedicated place to store all read newspaper, used cups should be washed and place in the dish rack, empty wrappers and containers should be thrown to avoid pests, and TV controllers should be in a basket dedicated for all the controllers. Come on! Isn't it common sense? Somehow I realised my common sense is not others' common sense! Especially if the party is brought up by a family who do not have basic hygiene and manner! WTF!

For the past 5 years before we moved into new house (almost 2 years by now), I have been educating him regarding basic hygiene and manner. Being exposed to outside world for more than 10 years, isn't it an eye opener for him to distinguish between what is right and wrong? However it seem like it is a mental block to him...

Those bad habits were carried forward to new house! I am so tired of dealing with pests. It is a brand new house yet I see ants everywhere! This shows how dirty the house is *Big Sigh*

Helpless

LC