~Forever In love~

"Does 'forever in love' even exist?" Someone asked me this. Some say yes while some say no. However deep inside my heart I do believe "forever in love" exist. 

How do you know you are in love? There are many ways. Depend on individual I guess. To me, it is more than just heart beat faster than usual. I realized something even beyond my understanding; When appearance, status, and age, don't concern you at all, you know that you are in love. 

Many years ago, I used to date a man who is 8 years older than me, lowly educated (not even SPM graduated), fat and not good looking. He was very nice to me just that he was also overly protective till restricted my freedom of meeting friends. Anyway to cut my point short, I mind EVERYTHING! I was ok with the age, but I did mind his education level was below mine (am a Degree holder); communication was tough. He didn't seem to know what I was talking about and it was worst when I was sharing with him work related stuff. I also mind his appearance. Whenever someone commented that we were not compatible and he looked like a butcher, I would hide. I would refuse to go out with him whenever possible. Do you call this "love"? Yes, you are right, I don't love him. Eventually we went separate ways when thing turned ugly.

Through this incident, I had been searching for "love". I want to know what love is and the feeling of in love. And then guess what?! I found that feeling! I never missed somebody so much before, never kept thinking of that person (what is he doing now? Does he miss me? Is he busy etc etc etc)...appearance, status, age, everything about him doesn't concern me at all! I don't care what would others say about us or look at us when we were together. I just know that I felt secured, protected, cared, and loved whenever he was with me. I would be cranky when I didn't get to see him. In fact, I felt proud to be with him! I was proud to display my love for him in the public. I was perfectly comfortable with hugging and kissing him in the public. *OMG OMG OMG* When we weren't meeting, I would be sitting at home doing nothing all day but think about him and hope that he was ok. I was hoping he will text me soon...I would be waiting anxiously alone by the phone.

It was indeed a great feeling any in love couple would experience. I used to wonder would this feeling last forever...though I would love to, I knew it was beyond our control. But then again, whatever will be will be, the future is not for our to see.

So yes I do believe in "forever in love" but that is not my greatest belief. My greatest belief would be treasure every moment with your loved ones and leave tomorrow to tomorrow ha! Most importantly, enjoy every moment with your special someone. <3

要幸福哦！

LC

~Angry~

Seriously I am looking like an angry bird for a week. I am feeling very negative, tired, drained and angry. I felt very frustrated that I wish to be left alone. I wish to be in coma for at least a month! I don't know why I had this idea of being in coma...perhaps I just really want to rest..mind, body and soul.

I felt all the responsibilities and burden on me. I'm the main financial provider for the family, and at the same time work like a maid to ensure the house is clean and tidy and family member have clean clothes to wear daily. I really wish I can choose one out of two duties. Either a financial provider but do not need to do all those cleaning or maid but do not need to contribute a single cent.

People always said GOD made women to be multi tasking. Really?! Which part of bible says that?? Not all the women can multi tasking...At least not for me. How much can a woman bear? Bible says woman is created to support man and man's responsibility is to provide for the family. Since when woman become a supporter and a provider? Since when???

I don't want to be a bitch scolding my hubby every time I reached home but somehow I could not control it. Having a hard and tired day at work, I wish to go back to my home sweet home to seek comfort. However the moment I stepped in the house, what greeted me was not warm and loving, and clean environment but a messy and unloving environment. It was as if the house was waiting for me to clean it. It was like a war zone or rubbish house!

Newspapers everywhere on the floor as if we are painting the house, TV controllers on the floor, used cups lying around the floor, letters, bag, empty cheese wrapper, empty cake container...all around the floor instead of places that these stuff should be placed!...There is a dedicated place to store all read newspaper, used cups should be washed and place in the dish rack, empty wrappers and containers should be thrown to avoid pests, and TV controllers should be in a basket dedicated for all the controllers. Come on! Isn't it common sense? Somehow I realised my common sense is not others' common sense! Especially if the party is brought up by a family who do not have basic hygiene and manner! WTF!

For the past 5 years before we moved into new house (almost 2 years by now), I have been educating him regarding basic hygiene and manner. Being exposed to outside world for more than 10 years, isn't it an eye opener for him to distinguish between what is right and wrong? However it seem like it is a mental block to him...

Those bad habits were carried forward to new house! I am so tired of dealing with pests. It is a brand new house yet I see ants everywhere! This shows how dirty the house is *Big Sigh*

Helpless

LC

It's been long time...

It had been long time since I wrote my blog. Ever since I joined this new company (Sept 2012), I really do not have "life". I had never been into a organization where there were no system. No HR system like SAP, Brassring Kennax etc everything here is using excel to update *OMG* CO2 x 1000 loh

In addition to that, my team really love to chu pattern to give me problem. They really pattern more than badminton sigh sigh..everyday before going to work, I would pray to GOD to give me wisdom, strength, and capability to handle work and people challenges. So far, I survived for 4 months! It seemed like years to me lolx Hair is getting whiter too. My colleague told me that everyone working for that particular business unit, hairs are all white. Come to think of it, it is true! lolx What comfort me was I have nice colleagues from the business units I support. At least life wasn't that bad kekeke

New year new hope and new image. I changed a new hair style. Though many commented that I look better in my previous hair style than new hair style, but to me, I felt fresher and younger lolx

Here is my old hair style:

And here is my current hair style:

 

I suppose which one is better really depends on individual's preference ba...most importantly is I myself like it haaa

And this is me at work. I had a lousy day that day. So I decided to take a pic of my serious and angry look.

I don't know how am I going to handle my problems but I believe and trust GOD to help me. Without HIM, I probably tender. I am also thankful to 2 of my team mates who have been supporting me selflessly. This is what I call a TEAM.

Moving forward, I will try my best to build my team up with the guidance of GOD and will be a good manager to them. I pray that this team will shine and glow :)

Hopeful
LC