虎落平阳被犬欺 aka Dragon in shallow water attacked by prawns / tiger in the plains bullied by dogs

虎落平阳被犬欺，我终于明白是什么意思了。因为它发生在我身上。I have been jobless for the past 6 months and have been actively looking for job after settled Mini Ong's intervention issue. During these period, I went for 4 interviews with employers and a few with the Recruitment agencies. Out of the interviews, the most unpleasant interviews were with agencies. Some agencies called me for the opening they had (which I appreciate it), however they sounded degrading. They put it in a nice way that I should be grateful to them to 'sell' me to their clients though the salary was low and so was the position offered because the fact is I have been jobless for 6 months! This is so insulting! No doubt that I have been jobless for 6 months but what is my 'jobless status' going to do with my experience? Shouldn't the company pay me base on my experience? Why should I be grateful to companies who degrading me? Am I so desperate for job that I lost my dignity? 

When this happened, Ah Tan aka Satan spoke to me. He said I do not process the managerial quality. I am not qualify to be a manager. Because my resume reflects that I am a job hopper! Because of what Ah Tan said, I sank into depression. My confidence level dropped and I really believed that I was unworthy! No doubt I have not reached Senior Manager level but I definitely reach Junior Manager level. Base on my experience and pay, the next level has to be a Manager! What Ah Tan said really crushed my career goal and hope. It was then something miracle happened.

Today as I was taking a nap, I dreamt that I went for interview and the interviewer rejected me because he said I am not qualify for his manager position. In the dream, I asked the interview to be specific on the area I am not qualify so that I could brush up my weakness and improve on it. However he just said I wasn't what he was looking for. I remember before I left the company and while thanking him for the interview opportunity, there is a song kept playing in my mind. "

Lord I Lift Your Name On High"

Suddenly I realised Ah Tan was lying to me! Nobody can degrade me and nobody can say I am not qualify. My debts have been paid by Jesus's blood. I am clean and pure. Just like the lyric, "You came from heaven to earth, to show the way. From the earth to the cross, my debt to pay. From the cross to the grave, from the grave to the sky. Lord I life your name on high." God sent his beloved son Jesus to die for us so that we are all saved. I am saved!

From the dream, I know that GOD is reaching out to me telling me HE is with me all the time and HE will bless me with a good career with the job title and salary I pray for. This is my down period and Ah Tan will make good use to attack me whatever he could. I have to stand firm and keep my faith up. Another test came in after I woke up. An agent called me offering me a contract job but salary not up to my expectation and so is the job title and job scope. She was polite but she put it in a way that I cannot be having high expectation due to the fact that I have been out of job for 6 months and should be grateful that company is willing to hire me. Again, I sank into self pity. I thought "Yes I am lousy. I am unworthy. I am not qualify. That's why got agents commented me like that."

However the dreamt reminded me that GOD is with me. I am not unworthy. I am in the "storm" now. But I shall be still as Father is the King above the flood. I shall just rest my soul in Christ alone. I am protected under HIS mighty hands. GOD is never too late to bless nor too early to bless. It will be according to HIS timing and when the time comes, I shall receive double blessing AMEN!

I am overwhelmed by GOD's love lately. I am so thankful that I came to know GOD 10 years ago and becoming to walk closely with HIM lately. I thank GOD for what happened to me lately so that I could learn to walk with GOD. I have learnt to seek HIM first not human. Everything happened for a reason and I know GOD allowed it for me to learn to become a better Christian and stronger. Thank you GOD. I love YOU.

Faithful

LC